Holiday Gift Giving Guidelines in Dating
What to gift the men you’re dating (specifically if you have just started dating) for the Holiday is an important topic.
For some of you smart, successful women, this may not seem to be a topic to discuss. I’m addressing this, because this is important, what you take to be an innocent expression of joyful giving to your man at first, can sometimes ruin the budding masucline-feminine energetic dynamic between you and him, especially in the early dating phases.
What do I mean?
The Masculine feels fulfilled when it is giving and wants to make you happy. The Feminine feels fulfilled in receiving and sharing her gratitude and appreciation with the masculine. This energetic balance is what you’re practicing to create in your romantic relationship with your man, and the Holiday Season is no exception to these principles. It’s still a time where you get to be showered and indulged as the queen of his heart, and he gets to receive tokens of your love and appreciation, while you are still being in your feminine.
This is true even if you make much more money than he does. This is true even if you’re a more masculine energy than he is, in other areas of your life. However, in your love life, you can consciously choose feminine energy and inspire your man to stay stepped up in his fiery masculine.
What could gifts look like, in practice?
Based on the feminine – masculine energy principles, here are some suggestions, depending on the phase of the relationship you are in.
Situation 1 - Just Started Dating
If you have been dating a guy for less than a month, there is no need to give him a gift. It's way too early in the relationship to play give and take. This is the time for you to receive with joy and without guilt from a man who is trying to win your heart.
It’s his job to impress you and delight you with a surprise gift. You are not in a relationship with him, so you don't need to return the favor. So if he gets you a present, light up and say a heartfelt thank you. If he asks you where his present is – give him a squishy hug!
That should do it! Easy! If he doesn’t get you any present, that's okay too, because you are just dating!
Situation 2 - Dating But Not Exclusive
This is a tricky situation for many women. You have been dating this man, regularly and consistently for sometime now but you don’t know if you should get him a gift since that would be pretty masculine. Right?
My recommendation in this situation is to get him one gift, small and personal. A packet of baked cookies, or a Christmas ornament, or funny, bold socks. I gave this to my husband when we had just started dating before the holidays, we met in October! He loves wearing bold socks, so it was perfect and yet not too much and he was totally lit up receiving the socks.
Your gift should say “I’m interested,” NOT “I love you.” Something funny and light is the point, so that you stay in your feminine. Nothing expensive or too precious where you try to show off the cost of the present or how “much” you care for him, that would be stepping into very “giving” masculine energy.
Many women find this recommendation odd because they want to make their boyfriend happy by showering him with love and attention. Firstly, it’s not your job to treat him like a boyfriend at this stage of dating. Remember, he is not your "boyfriend" if the exclusivity talk has not taken place between the two of you.
A practical tip to save you from potential disappointment
If he doesn’t have a gift for you (and sometimes that CAN happen when the man is not as far as you on the commitment timeline), I wouldn’t want you to be the only side giving the gift. So make sure you save your little gift in your purse until he takes out something to give to you first. If he doesn’t have something for you, take that gift back with you in your purse!
If you already know he has a present for you, just get him something small, sweet and inexpensive. That’s perfectly feminine and will make you feel good within yourself, when you're with him.
Situation 3 – Committed Relationships
When you and your man are in a secure and committed relationship, please bring him one or two nice gifts. Don’t hold back in fulfilling a wish, if he has openly asked you for something. Provided of course that you can comfortably afford it. If it’s outside your budget, don’t feel afraid to speak up.
The only thing women in committed relationships need to watch out for is keeping the giving energy in control. You don’t want to "out do" your man when it comes to giving gifts.
This means that:
A) You don’t want your gifts for him to be more expensive than his gifts for you (EVEN IF you earn more than he does)
B) You don’t want your gifts to exceed the quantity of gifts he has for you.
The whole idea of being in your feminine while giving to him, is to allow him to give you more. Let him feel like he can make you happy and he will value you so much for giving him that experience.