Single Most Crucial Skill For A Lasting And Secure Relationship With A Man

What do you think is the single most crucial skill you’ll need if you want a lasting and secure relationship with a man?

Is it having a fulfilling life of your own while being in a serious relationship?

No!

Is it taking responsibility of your happiness first?

Nope!

Is it keeping the passion alive and make sure that the man is sexually satisfied with you so that he wants to stay with you and only you?

No, not that either!

These things are important but they’re not the single most crucial skill you’ll need for a lasting and secure relationship.

The single most important skill for a lasting and secure relationship is the skill of knowing how to connect and communicate with a man.

So how do you do that?

Here are 3 steps to tell a man how you feel and connect to his heart:

  1. Stop Analyzing and Obsessing: Women believe the lie that men fear the display of emotions. Actually what men can’t stand is “drama”, but they fall to their knees in adoration for a woman who can feel something and communicate it in a non-judgemental, non-critical and vulnerable way. Allow yourself to feel eery emotion, even if it’s not interesting or pleasant. When you stop analyzing why and just feel, you’ll feel more fully yourself, more alive, and therefore you’ll automatically be more attractive to every man.

  2. Get out of your head and into your feelings: What are your conversations with men like? If you’re in your head, you’re probably experiencing a lot of opinions and facts about things. That’s not very romantic. Opinions are good for an occasional lively discussion with friends, but they don’t do anything to inspire him to love you. Instead notice how you feel about things throughout your day. Whenever you notice yourself caught in your thoughts, to-do lists or opinions, take yourself back to how you feel in the moment.

  3. Communicate using the phrase “I feel”, not “I think…”: Speak from your feelings, start sentences with “I feel” instead of “I think”. This may feel odd at first. You may be afraid if you do this, a man will think you’re silly or too emotional or that you’ll scare him off. Actually the exact opposite is true. The more you’re able to share your emotions in a man’s presence without going into drama and telling him what’s wrong with him, the closer he’s going to want to get to you. The best way to help a man connect to his tender, emotional side is by knowing how you feel and being able to clearly and honestly communicate it to him. When you start connecting with his heart this way , he’ll be more affectionate and loving with you.

  4. Presence (I thought I’ll give you another one 😉): Be totally present when you’re with a man, both physically and energetically. Enjoy your moments when you’re with him, instead of being in your head thinking “Is he the one?”, ‘Will he ask me out on another date?”, “I wonder what he thinks of me!”, etc. Just be. A man can feel when you’re not present, he can feel it in your energy that you’re there but not fully present.

Taking these steps when I was dating was a total game changer for me. Even now in my marriage, whenever I spend too much time in my head and discussing things instead of feeling juicy and romantic, I remind myself to do these 4 things and everything shifts like magic.

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xoxo Soni